Oh how we would all like to have it “our way”. From our burgers to everyday events, to be able to call the shots would be life changing for sure. Maybe a little bit boring if you always knew what you were in for. Or maybe you would always be living in fear of the known rather than the unknown. Who knows. We all know fear is to be released.
This I know. My Mom always liked things her way. She liked to be in control. She was truthful with her own truth if that makes sense. She always knew her feelings on.a matter and would not hesitate to share those feelings truthfully. What a blessing that mush have been for herself.
“A blessing and a curse” I have been fond of saying lately. It could have been a burden to have such a strong need to express your own truth, at all times. Not always welcome, the truth would lay before Mom like an intense ray of light. A light illuminating the way for those prepared to join her in her journey. It was sometimes seen as a blinding light for those too fearful or unprepared to walk that walk with her.
Frankly Francine would have been 85 this past week. Had she felt good I believe she would have been glad to stay home and wander around her garden or else in the kitchen. Even in good health she had begun to see the traffic and political nonsense in the public as deterrants making it more challenging to be out and about too much. The kitchen would be alive with sights and smells and a variety edible offerings. I can see myself outside by their pool with my dog. Mom would open the door to the backyard at repeated intervals. Her voice would reach me to ask for an update on my comfort level, my need for food or drink along with the reminder of the coolness she was enjoying inside with the air-conditioning if I cared to join her there.
I would love to hear that voice right now. It plays in my head but the vibration is no longer on the air. My ears ache for it so I play some Sinatra and listen to his tale of doing it “his way”.
I hope Mom left us with regrets too few to mention. I believe she lived a life that was full and more than this, she did it “her way”!
And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I’ll say it clear
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain
I’ve lived, a life that’s full
I travelled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
Regrets, I’ve had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
I saw it through, without exemption
I planned each chartered course
Each careful step along the by-way
And more, much more than this
I did it, my way
Yes, there were times
I’m sure you knew
When I bit off, more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all, and I stood tall
And did it my way
I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
I’ve had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside
I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way
Oh no, oh no not me
I did it my way
For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows, I took the blows
And did it my way.
Bravo Mom! I love you. Happy Birthday. Your daughter, Deb aka Decidedly Debra